Tom Rath and Donald Clifton
- individuals who receive regular recognition and praise:
- increase the individual productivity
- increase engagement among their colleagues
- a more likely to stay with their organization
- receive higher loyalty and satisfaction scores from customers
- have better safety records and fewer accidents on the job
- Just one person can infuse positive emotions into an entire group by filling buckets more frequently
- Your primary intent should be to energize the people in each workplace
- To fill buckets can gradually individuals individually, his favorite line “I’ve been hearing a lot of good things behind your back”
- The most enjoyable part of spreading positivity is to watch energy move through the network
- The number one reason people leave their jobs, they don’t feel appreciated
- Working for boss people dislike had significantly higher blood pressure
- We have all experienced situations when it seems nothing will go right the matter what you say or do. Maybe you feel like everyone is out to get you and you even start to fixate on negative things about yourself. Spiraling downward is it hard to do when your bucket is being emptied.
- Although we need and want recognition and praise, the fact is, we don’t get enough-and organizations suffer because of it
- Employee of the month awards and out feeling like a sham to both the winner and the presenter. Eventually everyone regardless of the merit gets named employee of the month.
- Sincere and meaningful bucket filling increases the more I’ll of any organization
- Offering a sincere and meaningful specific praise can make someone’s day and fill their bucket
- Most of us have grown up in the culture in which it’s easier to tell people what they did wrong instead of praising them when they succeed.
- This focus on what is wrong is particularly evident in our school experiences. Instead of celebrating what makes each child unique, most parents push their children to “fit in” so that they don’t “stick out”. This unwittingly stomps out individuality and encourages conformity, despite these parents good intentions
- Parents often get caught up in “how can I get my kid into college” instead of first considering what’s best for the development of their sons or daughters.
- The students who were criticized showed a major decline in the test scores by days three and four. In contrast, the students who appraised experience a major improvement after day two that was sustained throughout the end of the study.
- Recent studies show that negative emotions can be harmful to your health and might even shorten your life
- Rarely does a neutral encounter stay in your mind— the memorable moments are almost always positive or negative.
- Marriages are significantly more likely to succeed when couples interactions are near a 5 to 1 ratio of positive to negative.
- The ratio for a work environment is more like 3 to 1 there is also an existence of an upper limit, things can worsen if the ratio goes too high.
- Negative emotions might cut more years off of life expectancy than smoking
- Positive emotions:
- protect us, and can undo the effects of negative emotions
- fuel resilience and transform people
- brought in our thinking, encouraging us to discover new lines of thought or action
- break down barriers
- build durable physical, intellectual, social and psychological resources that can function as reserves during difficult times
- produce optimal functioning and organizations and individuals
- improve the overall performance of a group
- We should gather to celebrate all the great things that a person has done— while they are still around to be part of the celebration
- why not do this while they are alive (in reference to a loving eulogy)
- When the bucket is overflowing, this allows to concentrate on filling the buckets of everyone else
- Parents who are not determined to make someone well-rounded give their child a chance to be specialized experts and excel on their strengths
- Instead of asking your child the standard questions these might be more effective:
- what do you feel you doing this afternoon
- do you want to show me any of the work you did today
- did you guys get the play basketball or any other sports in gym
- Instead of dwelling on the negative or uncontrollable aspects of a disease focus on what could be done
- Instead of viewing a prognosis as a type of curse or death sentence focus it as an opportunity to be proactive and stay on top of your physical health
- All of your energy should be focused on what could be done stat of focusing on what had already occurred or aspects beyond your control
- You can be frustrated, but never go against fate
- Often, we feel as if we were dealt a bad hand and that life is unfair. But we don’t have to allow ourselves to be defined by our hardships. Our responses to difficult events in our emotional state are much more important. Positive reinforcement about our strengths can buffer us against getting overwhelmed with the negative. And understanding what we do best allows us not only to survive but to grow in the face of adversity
- Recognition is most appreciated and effective when it is individualized, specific and deserved.
- If you want people to understand that you value their contributions and that they are important, the recognition and praise you provide must have meaning that is specific to each individual.
- Five strategies for increasing positive emotions:
- prevent bucket dipping
- shine a light on what is right
- make best friends
- give unexpectedly
- reverse the golden rule
- For the next few days, trying catch yourself in the act of bucket dipping—then stop it. Consider your most recent interactions. Heavy poked fun at someone? Touched on in a security? Blatantly pointed out something that a person does wrong? If so, try and push the pause button in your head next time
- Once you’ve consciously started to eliminate bucket dipping, keep track of your progress by scoring your interactions. That’s right: reflect on your last few exchanges with another person. The side if overall each interaction is more positive or negative, then score it either a + or – in your head
- Consider what it would take to fill the buckets of your friends, family, coworkers, and others
- What would it take for me to reach that magic ratio of five positive interactions for every one negative interaction?
- Realizing that telling her husband how much he disappointed her wasn’t working, she tried an experiment: she began to draw attention to the things he did well and what she liked about him. After several days, her husband was happier when he came home and more engaged in their relationship. Eventually, his attentiveness and warmth began to fill her bucket— just as her positive outlook towards him had filled his.
- The most unexpected thing was that she felt happier, on her own, by focusing on the positives rather than dwelling on the negative
- And someone fills your bucket except it— never just brush it off and diminish what that person is doing. Fill their bucket in return by saying thank you or let them know that you appreciate the compliment or recognition
- Positive impact test questions
- I have helped someone in the last 24 hours
- I am an exceptionally courteous person
- I like being around positive people
- I’ve praised someone in the last 24 hours
- I have developed a knack for making others feel good
- I am more productive when I am around positive people
- in the last 24 hours I’ve told someone I cared about him or her
- I make it a point to become acquainted with people where ever I go
- when I received recognition it makes you want to give recognition to someone else
- in the last week I’ve listen to someone talk through his or her goals and ambitions
- I make unhappy people laugh
- I make it a point to call each of my associates by the name he or she likes to be called
- I notice what my colleagues do at a level of excellence
- I always smile at the people I meet
- I feel good about giving praise wherever I see good behavior
- People with best friends at work have better safety records, receive higher customer satisfaction scores, and increase workplace productivity
- The happiest people have the highest quality social relationships
- Your friendships are unlikely to survive, let alone thrive, without regular bucket filling
- Tell them how important they are to you and why. Don’t assume they already know—even if they do, they probably love to hear it anyway
- Listen to your friends with unconditional positive regard. Encourage them. Be a mentor, or least the person they know they can always go to for a kind word.
- When something new about each person you work or interact with. Create positive interactions with acquaintances—even strangers
- You might start to notice that more and more people want to be around you
- Receiving things unexpectedly fills our buckets just a little bit more
- And unexpected gift doesn’t have to be tangible either. It can be a gift of trust or responsibility. Sharing something personal or entrusting a friend of the secret can fill their bucket.
- “Do unto others as they would have you do unto them”
- The bucket filling interview:
- by what name do you like to be called
- what are your hot buttons, hobbies or interests you like to talk about a lot
- what increases your positive emotions or fills your bucket the most
- from whom do you like to receive recognition or praise
- What type of recognition or praise the you like best? Do you like public, private, written, verbal or other kinds of recognition?
- What forms of recognition motivates you the most? Do you like gift certificates, a title for winning a competition, a meaningful note or email, or something else
- what is the greatest recognition you have ever received
- Set a goal to write at least five positive messages or other forms of recognition every month